Freeedom!

Ok, so what have I done lately? Well, Athena and I were still fighting when my mom came and checked on me. I cursed while I was talking about Athena and mom ended up washing my mouth out with soap so I threw my usual fit and whined a lot. Then Liv called me back to her because I was still sick and she didnt want me leaving. She made quite sure of that... I've spent the last few days chained down to a bed by Liv and feeling completely miserable except for her time spent with me taking care of me. Inversely that brought me a lot closer to her and I think she enjoyed it, though not because I was miserable but because she liked to have me to herself and to give me so much attention. I have to admit I liked that part of it.

She really did take pretty good care of me, even when I was crying and trying to escape I knew she was there to look after me, though that meant making sure I stayed stuck in bed. I've grown really attached to Liv lately and I hardly even mind how strict she can be, though I'm starting to learn how to avoid getting her temper up. Like me she seems to prefer people to be straightforward and honest, and it gets on her nerves whenever I fib a bit. But honestly, she asked me whether or not I'd get out of bed and I said no, what else did she expect, the truth? Then again if I'd told the truth maybe she would have been nicer about what she had to do...

Anyhow today I got let go and made up with my mom, and that was good cuz I needed her too. I found Alais dead in the forrest... I couldnt even save Al... I felt terrible. Alais had been like my sister until she turned away from me... and I'd spoken to Al, said I'd protect him even before he was born... And I failed. I wish I could have been there, but instead I had to fight with Athena who was planning to do something with the body. I teleported it to the chapel and we nearly killed eachother over the matter. Finally she made me cry and after that things seemed to settle down and we made up.

I had to tell Mar and keep from crying. I had found a Navere insignia on the cody and a Navere dagger as well but I kept that secret because I knew they were planted. Mar was really broken up... so was I... I dunno what to do... I feel so helpless... I cant write about this anymore.

Moving on. I have to move on. Liv let me go today, did I say that? Yeah, but I should describe it better. Live let me eat from her hand and cleaned me up, even offered to let me burn all the evil stuff she'd used on me. I decided not to cuz really looking back it was kind of a good thing in a way. She's going to be checking up on me for the next few days too just to make sure I'm ok.

I saw my mom again and I just crawled into her lap and cried for Ali, and for all that had happened. I feel a duty to help Navere, but once again it's so big, and so hostile. And I know LIv cant help me, it's something I'll have to do largely on my own with Siona seeming to be out of comission. I want to work with her but I know she won't.. On hte bright side though I stopped by Navere and got my equipment back.

I think I'll have to ask Jelia for help. I don't want to but that seems to be the only way until something more happens. The priestesses of Lolth in Navere are bound to know something and Jelia is the one to get it from them. Mystra forgive me if I'm wrong.