I've forgotten something and I cant remember what it is

I woke up today and went out to talk to Mes. She was really nice to me as usual and she fed me strawberries and held me and told me about her cubs that god killed and about what a sad life she lived and I started crying but she made me feel better and I think that made us both feel better.

That's yet another side effect of my age, I cry for so little reason now. I also get tired if I hold still too long, especially if someone's holding me. And even with as little emotional control and maturity as I had before Ithink I have even less now. Well anyhow Mes decided to go to sleep and she asked *me* to guard her while she slept. Not only did she let me in her den which like noone else ever gets to go into but she let me watch over her while she slept. Plus the strawberries were really yummy.

I felt so proud and glad that she trusted me. I tried to stay up and guard her as long as I could but eventually I needed a nap and when I woke up she had scurried off. So I went towards the castle and there I saw Athena. She actually didnt laugh at me and offered to help so I removed the curse necklace I tricked her into putting on.

She had to go after a while so I went and found Imoen and Siona in the hall. I really didnt want to be seen after what happened yesterday but I guess I didnt have much of a choice. Siona told me to come sit in her lap and I tried to disobey her but she did that voice where if you didnt do what she said you knew it'd be trouble so I went over and let her hold me.

I asked Imoen if I could bite her to pay her back for last night but she said no so I just figured peeing in her bed was revenge enough. Siona eventually had to go to bed while I (having napped) managed to stay up and I sat with Imoen and we read a book about knights and adventures together. We hardly talked and it was quiet but it was a lot of fun too even though normally I hate being quiet and sitting still.

Well I decided to go out and see Tallanth, a succubus I know and see what she was up to because I heard she'd had a baby. Imoen went to find Velrik and I went cautiously into the forest. Tal barely recognized me and asked what I was doing to get back and I said nothing and she asked if I wanted to and I said I wasnt sure because everyone likes me this way and she said I should worry more about myself but she said it in kind of a weird selfish sounding way.

She also asked me to buy her a hat as a gift for the baby but she's still really nice and she gave me cocoa to drink so I was happy. I talked to Naoki, Willow's servant, today. He said she's kind of mad I ran off but she wants to see me so I might let her even though it'd be dangerous. Then grandma appeared and scooped me up and carried me back to the hall.

Gramma's great because she didnt even ask how I got like this she just figured its one of those things that happens to people in our family and I guess after living through mom and me she's not easily surprised. She took me up to her room to rest and tried to make me go to sleep and I squirmed and finally she had me almost asleep when mom appeared.

She said she had some serious type stuff to discuss and I tried to listen. It was all about Eowyn and the evil people I have to run from when I see them. I said something about wanting to fight the evil people I have to run from when I see them. Not now of course when I got older. Mom didnt like that and she started manipulating my mind like she did last time she tried to bound my powers.

Really I don't mind her poking around in my head, she's always gentle and its kind of tingly. I just wish I knew what part of me she changed. Anyhow she just told me to go to bed and not worry though she might have to go for a while soon. Finally she started rocking me and gramma played wiwth my hair and I was out like a light.

I woke up a while later to go to the bathroom but I got snatched up by a nanny along the way so now I'm stuck in a crib yet again. Ah when I get big again some of these nannies are getting zapped. I woke up a while later to see Siona had come to take me out of the nursery so I didnt have to deal with the nannies anymore.

Siona was really nice and gave me a sippy cup of apple juice to drink and some cookies and we talked for a while. I'm pretty sure I'm potty trained now but only if the nannies quit sticking me in cribs all the time. Siona decided I could stay in her room to avoid them and she got me some clothes and she said she might buy me some toys too.

That of course brings up the subject of how long I'll be like this. Siona said she feels selfish for wanting me to stay like this but I really dont mind and everyone else seems to want me like this too. I miss having powers and being able to do stuff on my own and drink and smoke and all that stuff but I have a lot of fun now and everyone seems to love me more now than before.

So I think I'm just not going to bother about it either way and let things go how they will. Anyhow Siona's started to seem all motherly and adultish with me and it's weird, she smacked my hands becuase i tried to open the sippy cup she gave me and she just has the same thing about her that makes me listen that Nic or mom or Carey have. It's some weird power I guess.

Anyhow Siona put me to sleep after a while and thats about it.