Light even in the darkness

I havn't written in a while, and I guess I aught to explain why. I've been so depressed and scared, felt so helpless that my thoughts didn't seem important enough to take down here.

I havnt been able to rescue any of my freinds, I've been weak when they need someone who's strong, which I know I'm not. Juliette has been kidnapped and I recently found out Valkryn took her to the underdark. Alias is also taken, and Daphne is still being held by someone, though Jaluuk recently quit the black watch or so I hear. And Siona and Angelus are not doing well but I cant help them either.

Angel, the local mean vampire person, kinda drove that fact home yesterday when she was picking on me. Normally I'd have beaten her up and told her to shut up, but sometimes I just can't get up the will to cast on my own behalf, and what she was saying was probably true. I managed to drag myself back to my tower and just curled up on the floor and went to sleep, hoping things would be better the next morning.

Well, they kind of did get better in a way. A ranger from Alias' men came while I was praying for guidance (coincidence, or the help of the Mother of Mysteries?) to tell me what had happened to her and now I know that Valkryn is the person I need to go up against to free Alias and Jules. I really kinda look forward to it because he's a dick.

Gia I don't know as much about, but I don't think I like her either based on what I've heard and seen. But raiding the underdark is bound to cause a lot of death, and I don't want that to happen. I wish there was a way to work this out without hurting anyone, but knowing that Alias and Jules are probably being hurt right now, and that for once I can actually do something about it, that makes a difference.

I started sending calls for aid and preparing for a battle. I also invited Valkryn before I heard that he's a monster, and if he or Gia shows up I'm going to try to trap them. Hopefully they come alone, because both of them at once would be too much to handle.

So, I have a purpose again, and I can actually use my magics to help people. I even asked Angel to help out since she can see in teh dark and whatnot and might be good in the underdark. I guess she might have been wrong, maybe I'm not useless and afraid.