Even less fun

I should go back to R.

That's the conclusion I've reached after today. I went and found R as night was falling and we just wandered around talking and she even gave me some cookies and introduced me to her daughter. She asked if she could feed from me. It was good to be wanted again.

However after that I sensed that Mar was in trouble and had to go to her, telling R I'd be back later. Mar was having one of her flashbacks and I did what I could. She semes to be trying to face it and I have no idea how to help her. Siona appeared and somehow managed to make things worse by saying something like Mar was weak, the same thing Logain used to call her when Siona sent her to live with him.

I realize now that of all that Siona's done that's one thing I can't forgive her for. Maybe the only thing... Anyhow we got Siona to bed and I tried to tell her that I needed help, that I was scared and couldnt do this on my own. She just turned it into some attack on her and ran off with some weird guy.

I love her but I really do need to stop. R's love didn't do me much better but I at least had someone to cuddle with and no silly illusions of family or... bah... whatever.