If I can take a life let it be this one

I cant remember... What else happened today. I'm in my tower now with my sword in my hand and won't put it down. Not ever. Not until it's done. Was I wrong to think that life could exist without killing. Could I have made this better if I'd done what I wanted to at the time. Ariel... Has Siegfred to take care of her now... But she still... Needs more company.

They left this world... I guess like they'd have wanted to... I couldn't have foreseen it. But those two... I should have known they'd be the death of her and strangle her life with their rules and order and evil things. And I tried to save her... And they blamed her for it.

Velrik and Imoen have to die now. Don't they? It's only right. But... I don't know if I can. Maybe I'm a coward. Can I put aside my morals to gain justice or do I do what I believe in even though it's wrong. They deserve to die... They murdered her, both of them but... I could just hurt them. Make them suffer... I always knew Velrik was wrong. I always knew I wanted to fight him, to prove that what he wanted wasn't right. But I knew it would be unwarranted... I wish I'd have just attacked him every chance I had until either I died or he stopped trying to ruin Ariel... And Imoen as well.

If ever I have given gold to the temples of you Oh Mystra, if ever hectacomes I have burnt at your altar, if ever I have sought out mysteries and magics to better my knowledge and power in the name of the lordess of mysteries. If I have done anything worthy of you then let me strike them down and be not a coward. Give me strength to make their blood run until their bodies no longer have life in them and avenge Ariel and Siegfred. Curse both of these foul murders with every plague and ill and misery that ever man or elf or dwarf has known and let them have no peace but in death I pray you.

And who is it that these two fiends in the night murdered? Ariel who sat with me... sat with meeand learned elven languages and to write common as well... I still remember the first book we read together. I sounded out each word and she'd point to a letter and then she'd say it and Mystra help me she's gone. I can't catch her in my arms and spin her around again until we both get sick. I was going to be the best man at their wedding... Siegfred never spoke an ill word of anyone... What could they have done...